Recently, the mind asked:

“What is letting go?”

Over the next couple of days, the sincerity of the question pulled forth greater clarity as to the nature of letting go.

I felt a bit hypocritical, teaching and sharing the power of letting go without being totally clear about it myself.

Yet it seems that in admitting that and welcoming the confusion the mind had about it, the doors of understanding and clarity opened. Here’s what I’ve come to see.

Often in life, the mind attempts to control and anticipate. To forecast what will happen next. To push back against any…

When expectations dissolve what remains is freedom.

Life is whatever we make of it.

Sometimes, it feels or seems like there is some right and wrong way to be in the world.

There is a path that we should follow and a path that we shouldn’t.

But is there really?

With greater accuracy, it can be said that there are choices we make with consequences which we must bear.

Certain choices uplift life. Other choices don’t.

Moreover, certain choices have a weight to them depending on varying factors such as parental conditioning, cultural-conditioning, inherited pre-dispositions (addiction), and unknown factors.

For example, someone who grows up in an…

With gentleness and ease, anything can be dissolved.

How often in life do we just throw ourselves into fixing, solving, or trying to change something?

And maybe something superficial changes but inside we still don’t feel completely at ease with life.

Each time we act from a place of wanting to change something, we are actually re-enforcing the sense that there is something wrong.

See, wanting to change is not the same as actually changing something.

Funnily enough, the more we want to change something the less likely it will change and the more we embrace something, the more likely it is to change automatically and naturally.


A key to a warm and uplifting relationship.

No matter what, my love for you won’t change.

Imagine yourself hearing and feeling that from someone close in your life. How does it feel? Notice the upliftment. Notice the warmth and sense of “everything is alright” that it generates — even if just a little.

In relationships, we learn to give love conditionally. For example, one of the greatest conditions is that the other person stays with us. Often we see resentment and bitterness form after someone's relationship ends. It doesn’t have to be that way.

First of all, it doesn’t feel very good to hold onto resentment, bitterness…

Hi Nick,

You don’t know me but I know you.

I know you're doing your best and sometimes it feels like that’s not enough. I also know that it is enough.

I know how isolated and alone you feel. How scary things can be. I know that sometimes you shared what was true for you and were shut down by those you care about most. They didn’t mean to shut you down. They were also just doing their best, unable to see the true consequences of their choices. …

Letting go of wanting to change our partner counter-intuitively is what supports the most positive change for everyone.

Have you ever gotten into an argument where you thought you were right and your partner was convinced they were right? You fight, try to prove your side, and find the holes in their side to gain the satisfaction of being right and winning the argument?

But then, even if you win the argument, there is just greater division between you two. Even if everything appears the same on the surface, deep down, there’s just something different – a feeling of even just a little bit more friction.

A little bit of friction may not sound like much but ask…

Why do we feel hurt and threatened? Is immunity possible?

We all feel defensive, vulnerable or threatened at some point. Seldom do we investigate the source of this. We defend ourselves when we feel attacked or threatened in some way. But why do we feel attacked or threatened?

We can only feel attacked or threatened if there is some sort of vulnerability within us. To protect this vulnerability, the mind projects blame and says “you hurt me”.

But what vulnerability allowed us to feel hurt? Let’s explore this together.

When I was in year 6, I recall another younger child made remarks about the moles on my face and I…

Put simply, how do we know?

We live our lives assuming that one day — life will end. But how do we know that?

Death is a great mystery but often, we forget that. We just make the assumption that it ends and live our lives accordingly.

But what if it doesn’t?

When I was 12, my mother's heart stopped beating.

It was heart-breaking. To a little kid, his mother is the world — a source of warmth, affection, and love. To lose that at that age was a shock to the system.

At that point, I believed in death. I believe that when the bodies…

No matter our life situation, something that is common to us all is that we are aware.

Right now, awareness is totally and completely present.

It’s also completely silent and still.

It is like the space which allows for everything. Like the white page which gives these words space to be in.

This awareness is universally common to us all and yet, its silent and still nature means that it often goes unnoticed.

We notice the thoughts.

We notice the feelings.

We notice the sounds.

We notice the sensations.

Yet we miss that which allows for all that. We miss the background upon which everything arises. We miss the ever-present miracle — I am aware.

Right now…

If you truly want to change something about your partner, the best way about that is to love them for being the way they are.

How often do we judge ourselves or others for something?

How often do we want to change something about someone — be it ourselves or someone else?

There’s nothing wrong with judgement. It’s just that it is a rather ineffective change agent.

It makes us feel guilty afterwards and it doesn’t actually result in the change we want to see in ourselves or someone else.

A far more powerful and effective change agent is love.

Let’s say we want someone to wash the dishes but they aren’t doing it. So in our mind, we have created an image of what…

Nick Shibanov

Inner Peace and Mind Mastery Coach | Free Class →

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store